Pyro's Day Off
by Red Witch
Summary: A bored Pyro decides to go visit the Brotherhood. Takes place around 'Cajun Spice'.


**Pyro burnt down the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Well I loved Cajun Spice and I enjoyed the Pyro scene. He was just as crazy as I hoped he'd be! I think it's way past time I did a fic centering on ol' Johnny boy! **

**Pyro's Day Off**

"Sigh…" Pyro sighed aloud. "I can't believe everybody left me here all by my lonesome. Even Gambit is gone. So I set fire to one of his decks of cards the other day. Big deal. Who needs him? Still…" He looked around the abandoned base. Since Magneto's battle with Apocalypse all the other Acolytes had taken off to do their own thing. Only Pyro who didn't have anywhere to go anyway remained. 

"Bored, bored, bored," Pyro sighed. "B-O-R-E-D, bored! I mean that little tussle with Wolverine yesterday was exciting. Okay I got my butt kicked but still you can't win them all. Hmmm. What to do? What to do? Let me check my list." 

He pulled out his list. "Lessee…Watch video of Mags getting his butt kicked more than 500 times? Check. Steal stuff from Magneto's personal quarters. Check. Burn stuff from Magneto's personal stuff. Check. Burn random things from around the base. Check and double check." He set fire to a nearby chair. 

Pyro went back to his list. "Listen to the sound of my voice echoing through the base. Echo! Echo! Check! Check! Make prank phone calls," He continued. "Hmmm. Did that but I think I have room in my schedule for one more." 

First he dialed a number then he picked up a strange device and held it close to his mouth. "This is Edward Kelly speaking," When he spoke he sounded just like him. "I'd like to order 500 pepperoni and anchovy pizzas please. Yes, the address is my campaign headquarters. Thank you." 

Giggling he then dialed Kelly's number. "Good day to you sir," He spoke in a British accent. "I'm Mr. Alderjohn of the New Times over here in jolly old England. I'd like an interview with Mr. Kelly please."

Immediately he was transferred to Kelly. "Well Mr. Alderjohn what can I do for you?" Kelly answered pleasantly.

"Well Mr. Kelly over here in London we've heard about your campaign for mayor and we thought it would be an interesting story," Pyro smiled. "Do you mind if I ask a few questions?"

"Shoot."

"All right would you like to comment on the rumors of your alcoholism? How many times a day do you drink? What's your favorite beverage?"

"Sir I am not an alcoholic! That's…"

"Denied all charges…" Pyro pretended that was what he was writing down. "Now how about your stance on drugs? In this mutant infested world how many drugs does the average teen need to stay one step ahead of mutants?"

"Excuse me but while I agree that we need to control mutants I don't think drugs are the answer."

"So you're saying we should use some kind of firearms then?" Pyro grinned. "Okay, candidate for mayor urges arming kids in schools with guns." 

"No! That's not what I said! We need to take a stand against mutants but…"

"Yeah about that is it true that you were in a drunken brawl the other night with three mutant prostitutes?" 

"WHAT? THAT IS RIDICULOUS! I HAVE NEVER…"

"Denied all charges despite what witnesses claim," Pyro spoke. "Claims he is innocent until proven guilty. Now about your drug addiction sir…"

"I DO NOT HAVE A DRUG ADDICTION! WHO IS THIS? I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SLANDERED IN MY ENTIRE…" Kelly then stopped. "WHAT? I DIDN'T ORDER 500 PIZZAS! WELL THEY CAN TAKE THEM BACK! WHAT?" 

"Kelly has been known to go through at least 500 pizzas a day with his cravings due to his drug habit," Pyro grinned. "Well I think I have enough information. Have a nice day!" 

"NO! WAIT! HOLD ON! YOU…" 

Pyro hung up and laughed. "Now that was entertainment!" 

"Well that's my list," Pyro used the remaining embers of the chair to set fire to it. "Now what do I do? I'm getting so bored of sitting around here on my lonesome. Pyro's all alone. Nobody around for…Wait a minute! There are others around! I know just what I'm going to do! I'm going to have a day of fun! Mr. Chair please take over my watch!" He got up and saluted and whistled out the door.

************************************************************************

Some time later the doorbell rang at the Brotherhood House. "I swear if it's one more salesperson…" Pietro grumbled as he got it. "YOU?" 

"Hello there mate," Pyro stood there in civilian attire. He was wearing a black leather jacket, a red shirt and jeans. "Ain't you happy to see your old pal Pyro?" 

"What are you doing here?" Pietro asked.

"Well it's like this," Pyro sighed. "Since your old man bit the big one, all the other Acolytes took off on their own. There's nobody left at the base but me."

"What happened?" Pietro folded his arms. "Did you run out of things to burn?"

"Yeah how'd you know?" Pyro asked.

"Lucky guess," Pietro sighed. "You know the only reason I'm not gonna slam the door in your face is the fact that you'd probably burn it down. Come on." 

He walked in and saw the other Brotherhood members watching TV. "Hey! I remember you!" Fred said. "You're one of Magneto's guys!" 

"Was one of Magneto's guys," Pyro told him. "Name's St. John Allerdyce. But everybody calls me Pyro." 

"You're that flame-thrower guy," Lance looked him over.

"That's me, mate. So this is your place huh?" Pyro looked around. "Cool. It looks so flammable! I love it!" 

"Uh yeah we weren't quite going with that direction," Lance told him. 

"I mean one good spark and boom! This place could be a real powder keg! HAHAHAAH!" Pyro laughed maniacally. 

"So this is one of the guys Magneto replaced us with?" Todd looked at Pietro. "Interesting choice." 

"So what are you doing here?" Lance asked.

"Well like I said Avalanche old pal, can I call you Avalanche?" Pyro sat down on the couch next to him and put his feet up. "Everybody's gone off to do their own thing leaving poor Pyro by his lonesome self to guard the base for a boss that ain't coming back. I mean Mastermind's taken off back to Italy; Colossus went back to Russia. Sabertooth is off in Happy Kitty Land someplace, Gambit's gone off and kidnapped Rogue and…"

"Wait a minute," Lance told him. "Back up. What did you say?" 

"I said Gambit kidnapped Rogue," Pyro told him. "I heard it from Wolverine. He and I had an interesting chat the other day. Not much for conversation though. Actually he's a lot like Sabertooth. Ever notice that?" 

"Why would Gambit kidnap Rogue?" Pietro asked.

"Who knows?" Pyro shrugged. "Why does that crazy Cajun do anything? Just between you and me, I think he's getting a bit sweet on the Sheila. You know what I mean?" 

"Are you saying Gambit has a crush on Rogue?" Lance looked at him. "Yeah…right!" 

"I'm telling you," Pyro said. "I've seen the way he looks at her picture on the video when he thinks nobody is looking. I think he likes her. So what's new with all of you?"

"Oh nothing much," Lance said sarcastically. "The entire town of Bayville hates our guts and is conspiring to make every mutant's life here a living hell."

"In other words the same old thing huh?" Pyro asked. "Well I came here to have a nice visit. So Blob old man, how are things? Nice to see you got out of that lab a ways back." 

"Pietro is there a reason I shouldn't punch his lights out?" Fred looked at him.

"Pyro was born without any sense of tact Freddy," Pietro sighed. "Just put up with him or he might decide to burn our house down." 

"I would not burn your house down!" Pyro snapped. "Your backyard maybe but not your house. Well not on purpose. Give me a little credit!"

"We will," Todd remarked. 

"Who's up for a little game?" Pyro clapped his hands together. "I say we get this party started!" 

"Let's not and say we did," Wanda groaned. "You know I'm starting to miss the protestors." 

"Oh cheer up love," Pyro pulled out a tape. "Tell ya what, I got something here that always helps me cheer up." He then popped in the tape of Magneto getting trashed by Magneto. "Now tell me that isn't the greatest thing you ever saw?"

The Brotherhood was now watching Wanda whose expression definitely weighed in on their response. "Well actually…" Todd gulped.

"Oh I love it when the bugger gets torn to teeny tiny atoms!" Pyro gleefully jumped up and down. "Now some say it would be the sound of him screaming in agony, but for me it's that final flash at the end that really gets me! You can't say that you love it when that jerk is blown to kingdom come!" 

"No…we really can't say that," Fred gulped as Wanda powered up. 

"Come on now!" Pyro chortled. "Who wouldn't love this? Bet you can't name one person who wouldn't love to see old chrome dome blown to smithereens!" 

That was when Wanda used her powers to send Pyro flying into the wall. "You lose…" Lance said casually. 

"You…you…." Wanda growled as she stalked Pyro. "INSENSITVE MORON!" 

"Oh right…" Pyro gasped. "Forgot…the Sheila likes her old man now." 

"TRY AND FORGET THIS!" Wanda screamed as she powered up. 

"AAAHHH!" Pyro yelled as he jumped up. "Well it's been nice chatting with all of you but I really have to be getting back to the base now!" 

"DIE!" Wanda chased after him, using her powers to throw furniture and other objects at him. 

"HEY! YEOW! CUT IT OUT!" Pyro screamed as he ran out the door with Wanda on his heels. "I THINK YOU'RE TAKING THIS A BIT TOO PERSONALLY YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YEOWCH! THAT HURTS! NO! NO! NOT THE SODA CANS! ANYTHING BUT THE SODA CANS! MOMMY!" 

"You think we should go after her?" Todd asked as the Brotherhood watched Wanda chase Pyro down the block. 

"Nah," Lance waved. "She'll come back when she's through playing with him." 

"Yeah in a way that was good for her," Todd remarked as he closed the door. "She could use a little therapy right now and I think the sparkplug is just what the doctor ordered. Who's up for pizza?" 

"Do you even have to ask?" Fred looked at him. 

"Well that killed about twenty minutes of our day," Pietro remarked. 

"Hey at least it's something interesting for my journal," Fred told him.

"I almost felt sorry for the guy," Lance remarked. "Almost." 


End file.
